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How to Resolve Hurt Feelings

If we can constantly develop a forgiving heart, we will be happy, joyful and blessed at all times. But if we keep hoping for others to give to us, we will definitely suffer very painfully…


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Photo by Wong Twee Hee

Do not harm ourselves with the hurt unintentionally caused by others. We should treat it as a form of encouragement and accept it happily.

“There is no one in this world that I cannot forgive.” – We must develop such a mentality and try to be understanding in the face of any comment that we receive from others.  We should not see it as sarcasm and take it to heart, personally.

Perhaps the comment is really unintentional, but we take it personally to heart. It would be unforgivable if we intentionally take in the hurt from others. Hence, we should not keep harming ourselves with the unintentional hurt caused by others. We should instead, treat it as a form of encouragement that spurs us on and accept it happily, then we will always be free of ignorance and anger.

We should always observe our demeanour and behaviour, and not be too quick to judge that someone’s comment is sarcastic or meant to demean us. Even if someone intentionally hurts us, we must all the more forgive him, because he is definitely displeased with us. When this happens, we should quickly examine whether our words and actions have strayed from the right path.

In life, if we can constantly develop a forgiving heart, we will be happy, joyful, and blessed at all times."

When we live each day happily, and are happy with whoever we meet and whatever we do, we have become a “first-ground Bodhisattva” with a broad and accommodating heart replete with kindness and confidence.

If we keep hoping for others to give to us, we will definitely suffer very painfully. If we can harbour a heart of love and giving every day, we will naturally give rise to joy in our hearts.

Giving to others is a form of love, and this is the first thing we must do as we learn to serve as a bodhisattva. If we can cultivate a joyful heart and let it glow gently and lovingly like the moon, then everyone that comes into our sight will be kind and beautiful.

Extracted from “Huan Xi Zi Zai”《欢喜自在》
Translated by the Tzu Chi Singapore translation team