Someone asked Master Cheng Yen, “How do we stop being calculating and petty?”
The Master answers:
People with self-love will not be calculating and insisting. Self-love is not selfish love, but a selfless love. If you have self-worth, you will have respect for others too.
It is just like the opposite poles of a scale, when one side is weighed down, the other side gets lifted. A person who is calculative will appear to have flaw in his character and personality. On the contrary, if you are humble, people will tend to have a better impression of you.
However, forbearance alone is not enough, you must fully accept the matter. If you repeatedly fight and insist to win, it will only add more troubles to yourself.
Therefore, we must learn to be humble and be tolerant with everyone. We should also be polite and modest to gain acceptance from others.
People who put in effort will reap what they sow; people who does nothing will get nothing. If someone were to treat you with disrespect, do not take it to heart. Instead, you should reflect on yourself to see if you have done anything wrong that causes others to feel unhappy about you. Find the cause and strive to improve on it.