On 21 July 2007, at the “A Beam of Sunshine” musical concert organized by the Tzu Chi Singapore Branch, the two main performers – Miss Lin Zi Jun and Mr Zeng Yi Zhen had faces etched with such focus throughout the duration of the concert, that onlookers almost forgot their disabilities. Besides their musical abilities, another aspect that astounds people is the experience that they have gained in their uncommon lives, and the cumulative obstacles overcome along the way.

Zeng Yi Zhen contributes the supporting melody to Lin Zi Jun’s singing.

Ms Lin Zi Jun performed the song “Hakka Girl” with an abundance of emotions, making it extremely memorable.

Zeng presenting his solo performances of songs, including “Wen Nuan Man Ren Jian” (Warmth in the World) and “Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin” (The Moon Represents my Heart).

In the layman’s stereotypical mindset, people with disabilities are often vulnerable, weak and require special care and attention. The Western society, however, views them as being gifted, whereby the term itself inculcates a sense of respect and blessing. Master Cheng Yen stated that “Actually the disabled may also know all that we do; however, the unique talents and mentality that the disabled possess is something that we would find extremely difficult to learn or acquire.”

To give an analogy, a glass that is chipped at one side would look whole from another angle; would this not apply to a disabled person as well? At the “A Beam of Sunshine” musical concert organized by the Tzu Chi Singapore Branch, the two main performers – Miss Lin Zi Jun and Mr Zeng Yi Zhen had faces etched with such focus throughout the duration of the concert, that onlookers almost forgot their disabilities. Besides their musical abilities, another aspect that astounds people is the experience that they have gained in their uncommon lives, and the cumulative obstacles overcome along the way.

Learning music, independently

Lin Zi Jun was born in Meinong County in Taiwan’s Kaohsiung area, where many Hakkas had gathered in earlier times. Hakkas, especially Hakka women, have been respected by many scholars as China’s most capable and elite women, due to their character traits such as perseverance, diligence, independence and drive. Lin’s grandmother was one of these women, and who influenced Lin’s life with her temperament.

In those times, Lin’s grandmother had to carry baskets of vegetables around to sell everyday. At a young age, Lin was told to stay by her grandmother’s side during these daily expeditions, and was never given up on even though her eyesight gradually deteriorated. The necessity of these walking expeditions and the contact it brought increased Lin’s life experience, and her grandmother’s care helped Lin build up confidence in interacting with the outside society.

Lin later fulfilled her dream of studying Western Music in Chinese Culture University. However, as she is from a Hakka family, she had to learn and be familiar with many foreign languages such as Latin and Italian while studying vocal music; her professors did not cut her any slack or lower their expected standards due to her special circumstances – in fact, they were stricter towards her. Such high standards of expectation resulted in much stress for Lin, but her independence, perseverance and the hard work she put into improving her memory work gradually resulted in her being able to catch up with her coursemates in reciting and sightreading. Although the course of her learning was fraught with uncommon obstacles, it was also through such training and experience that made her the professional stage performer that she is today.

Singing from the heart

During the concert, Lin presented many Hakka songs that she had composed herself. When talking about composing, she readily admitted that like other visually-challenged people, she does face some difficulties when communicating with others. The stereotypical image that the outside society has of disabled people, coupled with the naturally more closed-up mentality of the visually-challenged, easily lead to circumstances whereby both sides are unable to understand the other. At this time, music becomes a medium of boundary-crossing communication, which she can use to express her own feelings. Besides this, she told of her dream of cutting and distributing a personal album; as for a disabled person, having knowledge of composing translates to having more chances.

Lin performed the song “Hakka Girl” with an abundance of emotions, making it extremely memorable. Choosing the Hakka dialect as her medium of composition and communication is obviously something very natural to her. Moreover, with some worries regarding the dying out of dialects, she hopes to be able to inspire the younger generation to learn the language through her songs.  

This visually-challenged musician has, as her grandmother hoped, had no need to bear the weight of vegetable baskets on her shoulders, nor needed to exchange hard labour for a better life in her family; in fact, the comparatively larger burden on her shoulders consists of not only her own dreams, but also her wish to promote and bring to light the Hakka dialect and culture.

Life-changing perception

Even when his huqin has been kept after use, numerous unknown melodies still dance in Zeng Yi Zhen’s world, light as a spring breeze, peaceful and melodious. Even though the sight before him is coloured a permanent black, he does not experience any ounce of fear or anxiety.

“When I was young, I had no inkling that I could not see. It was only when I started school, and when my friends started to desert me……” Being prematurely-born, placed in an incubator with above normal temperature and the recipient of a failed operation resulted in blindness for Zeng. Not sensing anything amiss, he had always thought it perfectly natural for the world to be blanketed in black; when friends started to desert him during his schooling days, he finally realized with a start the stark difference between him and them.

With a sensitivity and penchant for worry borne of his youth and unable to see outside of the high walls of his situation, Zeng was initially defeated and depressed. Being independent to the point of stubbornness, he did not wish to trouble others with a lot of things – even when trying to locate a bag, he would rather go the long way by using his sense of touch to find it, than ask for others’ help. In his own words, “……it was a matter of perception.”

“A matter of perception” – these four words frequently peppered the conversation with Zeng. He gradually revealed, “During my final year in university, when I traveled to the US to receive the first prize for the International Special Talent Youth Performer Competition, one of my fellow undergrads on the same trip told me that being able to receive the award just meant that we were luckier as compared to other people, and it was not an indication that our current standard was sufficient.”

Further elaborating to a confused Zeng, his friend explained, “It is because there are many things that cannot be completed by one person. Even though you have received the award, if you don’t change the closed-up perception of yourself, you will still be alone when you return to the country – there will be a lot of things that you will be unable to achieve, and this might extend to even your own dreams.”

Zeng’s friend kind advice was timely, albeit it came as rather a shock to him.

Walking out of the box...no longer enclosed in a world devoid of colours

“When a person knows how to think, he may not do what he thinks is right; but when he understands the reasoning behind it, he will no longer think about it; because he has already done it, he will understand it…the important thing is to actually start doing it!”

Zeng started to focus more on listening to and feeling the interaction between people, to think about how music is able to blend into events, and how to give back to society. He did not set any expected outcome or results, but rather learned through the actual doing. In the years since then, he has formed a few performing groups, besides giving disabled musicians a chance to express themselves, he is also learning how to manage a band with everyone. “For a performing group to succeed, we must not only be prepared to commit our time and effort, everyone’s mindset should also be the same; during practice, everyone’s learning curve is different, and it is also the time to learn how to cooperate better as a team.”

Since seven years ago, Zeng has found time despite his numerous performances and his teaching job, to teach erhu at the Tao Yuan Counselling Institute for the youth. The backgrounds of these youngsters are unimportant to Zeng, “I treat them as youngsters who are studying and learning at the Counselling Institute, and not as convicts.” As time went by, his students’ initial doubts about his abilities have also changed to understanding and appreciation for his sincere care for them.

Hard work and active involvement in the society have helped Zeng to win the third Golden Eagle Award for being a model for other disabled people.

Walking with the front leg, releasing the back – Learning to make less of others’ unpleasant comments, and living a better life

“Walking with the front leg, releasing the back” is Zeng’s favourite Still Thoughts aphorisms. His somewhat unstable emotions in his youth, his lack of sight which resulted in him using his imagination to compensate and invent that which he could not see, and his stubbornness regarding his perceptions of things – like rough jade that has gradually had its edges smoothed, the present Zeng has learned not to take unpleasant comments into account regardless of how negative they are. He has chosen the wise understanding path instead.

“The other party might have said what he did because he was in a bad mood. If I take it to heart, that would be pointless, and a waste of time.” Zeng is actually somewhat relieved that being visually-challenged has enabled him to be intensely focused and impervious to things that might be going on in his surroundings when practicing. He also encourages people free of such a disability to learn how to make less of others’ unpleasant comments and not take such matters to heart, as this would definitely reduce one’s troubles and worries.